Bi/Gay Heterosexually Married Men
Many years ago (more than I sometimes want to admit) when I was an intern, I posted an ad in a throw-away local newspaper for a coming out group for gay men. I was overwhelmed with the number of bi and gay heterosexually married men who were looking for help in dealing with their feelings that they most desperately wanted to go away.
The power to change sexual orientation is not within the ability of a psychotherapist or even an individual. Coming to terms with who you are is the challenge. Some of these men leave their wives and many do not. Each must choose the path he can live with.
There are many bi and gay men in marriages and heterosexual relationships. Craigslist is heavily populated by them in the "men seeking men" categories. The gay community has been dramatically impacted by formerly married men. I have heard estimates as high as 80% of the AIDS generation has died, and the men that were heterosexually married missed the initial onslaught of the epidemic. Thus, I believe there are a disproportionate number of them in the current gay community.
Brokeback Mountain was a watershed movie for many of these men, because they saw their story and for the first time, many felt they were not alone.
This part of my website is an attempt to share some of the knowledge that I have gained over the years working with this part of the population, in hopes of making the journey easier for the men who are trying to come to terms with themselves now.
I hope that you will take the time to fill out the questionnaire. It will help to provide more insight into this population. The article I have written is largely a 12 page outline of the book I have always wanted to write on the subject. Perhaps I will someday, but for now, I hope that you find it helpful.